


and i love you in the dark spaces

by queenmcgonagall



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-16
Updated: 2013-02-16
Packaged: 2017-11-29 12:59:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/687230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenmcgonagall/pseuds/queenmcgonagall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I love the peace of you, the war. I love the bliss of you, the knives and the pain. I love the whole of you, every hour, every day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	and i love you in the dark spaces

I love you at 7 am, with your hair flat on one side and your morning breath, your rasp of a voice singing who knows what in the shower. I love you when I lie in bed and watch you dress, watch the pale line of your arms slide into soft tshirts and I shake my head because it’s a shame to cover up a body like yours. I love your drooping eyes over eggs on toast, the sleepy tremble of your fingers around your cup of coffee. I love you with your fingers under my shirt, your toes nudging my ankle under the table and the curving smile I know better than anyone.

I love you at 9 am, with your hair fixed and your eyes bright and happy and that smirk glinting at the corner of pink lips, your hands gesturing wildly to the interviewer as she’s cast under the spell that I’ve already become the victim of. I love the quiet brilliance of your mind, the soft wonder that you are in the mornings when the world has yet to taint you with its daily routine violence and hate that sometimes seems like it’s directed right at us. I love the distance and the nearness. I love you in the van on the way to the studio, with your bare feet in my lap and your ipod plugged in, weird music I’ve never heard of. Your mind is elsewhere and mine is always on you, always you, always you.

I love you at noon, with your hair splayed out over the floor, one knee bent and hanging over the other, fingers tapping a tango on the wooden floor as you eat a sandwich and whisper intimately into Zayn’s ear. I love you even through my red jealousy, I love your lithe figure twisting on the floor and your eyes flashing towards me and seeing that red and you walking on knees to come over and brush thumbs on my ankle and grin a quiet grin of reassurance. I love you when you’re like a child, soft and naive, when you’re a four year old wonderer, crouching and pulling things out of the earth, pulling love out of me, but my love doesn’t resist, I give love to you because you own it.

I love you at 3 pm, with the veins in your neck standing out and your hand against your chest, holding in the electricity of your intensity, your voice raw and sending shivers of love into my heart. I love you with your pout when the voice coaches tell you to lay off, save it for tonight. I love you on stage, when your soul burns and snaps and eats everyone in a mile radius and your fire lights me up and I think I could never be cold again. I love your cheeky jokes to the fans at sound-check and the way you smile at a 14 year old girl with a Larry poster and maybe you just saved that girl’s life, you don’t even know, but you hug her and kiss her cheek and say ‘love you, babe’ and I think you are the best person I know.

I love you at 6 pm, with your large hands digging sweet stings into my hips as you push up against me into the door of our small dressing room, the way you bite harsh love into my stained-by-you neck and whimper against my jawbone. I love your fumbling fingers on me, I love your red mouth stretched and shining, I love your eyes looking up at me and fuck I love you around me, me inside you. I love the roar of the crowds not far away and seeing you not give a fuck, ignoring the world and focusing on that fire you burn into me every day. You love Chris Martin, right? You ignite my bones, guide me home with the light that bleeds inside of you and captures your radiance. 

I love you most at 8 pm, with your wild power stretching like elastic until you are unbreakable, untouchable, unrestrained. I love the way you seem taller than everyone in the arena, taller and bigger and brighter and better. I love the way you pull me to you and whisper dirty things in my ears but smile like you’re whispering about that movie we watched last night, love the way I can feel your eyes burning straight through my heart if I get too close to one of the other boys, love your jealousy eating you to pieces. I love the sex of you, the filth, the charm that exudes and overpowers and I love the love of you.

I love you at 11 pm, with your drooping hair and your tired eyes and your satiated and lazy smile, your legs on mine in the van on the way back to the hotel. I love the pads of your fingers on the skin behind my ear; its like you’re stroking a poem into me and I want to read the poem back to you, write it on the soft skin behind your knee. I love you in your sweatpants, you innocent little boy, you darling of the Earth, don’t you know how the world loves you? The world loves you in suits and charm and I love you in sweatpants and love. 

I love you at midnight, your hair flattened and wet against your head, the drops of water streaming down your forehead and you blinking against it, dark eyelashes damp on flushed cheeks as my fingers move inside you, you who are up against ceramic tiles with your head back and your eyes closed. I love the look of me against you, skin against skin, love against love, the way we look like one person. I love how my head slots under your chin, the way the hollow at your alabaster throat was made for my lips to press into as you keen above me. I love you when you hold out the shampoo to me and sit at my feet and lean back into my hands as I rub sleep and love into your head. 

I love you at 2 am, with your small snuffles and your cold toes and your hair in my nose, your long arm flung across me, making a cage to hold in the secrets that threaten to spill out of us every day. I love the cold moon’s light on your chest, illuminating you and casting shadows in the ridges of beauty that adorn your Adonis body. I love your mouth against my ear, whispering goodnight and I love the palm of your hand against my stomach. I love you when the dark is our blanket, our safety catch, when I can kiss you silly and it won’t matter.

I love you at 5 am, with my tired eyes open for 10 seconds, with your soft hair like a halo on the pillow, almost glowing with the pale sunshine that breaks through the window. I love you when the blanket is twisted around your naked waist, the sharp hills and valleys of your hips shadowed in dark and light and I settle my fingers into the drop of your stomach. I love you when the last thing I see before I close my eyes again is your eyelids fluttering and your chest rising and falling into sleepy serenity.

I love you when we most need it, when doubts creep like goblins and it seems like there’s a pair of eyes and a camera shutter at every crack in the door that opens to our private life. I love you when hurt wells like acid raindrops and screams tear like rusty daggers and words are thrown like sarcastic punches, when jealousy nips at heels and I love you when we brush it all off like our feathers are glossed in oil, it slides off us and we are encased in the security of our love, in what we have.

I love you every day. I love you when the sun comes up and when the sun goes down and I love you in the dark spaces between those hours.


End file.
